Lost track of how many stupid things the 18 candidates that have lost their job this election campaign have done? Me too! Strap yourself in, and let’s take a look at the 2019 Australian Election Hall of Shame (so far).

Jeremy Hearn, Seat of Isaacs, Liberal Party

Hearn was disendorsed over anti-Muslim posts on social media. He suggested that Muslims support ‘killing or enslaving’ anyone who isn’t Muslim, and that Muslims are sneakily trying to install Sharia law in Australia. He apologised, but still got the boot. This will not be the last time we see the phrases ‘anti-Muslim’ or ‘social media’ in this list.

Peter Killin, Seat of Wills, Liberal Party

Killin was done in for not only being a homophobe, but for being a homophobe against a member of his own party! He reckons the ‘homosexual lifestyle’ carries ‘appalling health risks’, and referred to Tim Wilson as “that notorious homosexual”. Poor Pete was also apparently quite mad that gay men could be preselected at all, and called for a grassroots movement to stop exactly that. He was shown the door.

Jessica Whelan, Seat of Lyons, Liberal Party

Whelan was another one booted for anti-Muslim comments on social media, even though she was insistent that she hadn’t actually made the now-deleted comments. Those comments included “How about we have a referendum on whether or not we close our borders to Muslims? Now that I would vote for!”, and that feminists supporting Sharia law should have their clitorises cut off. Charming.

Luke Creasey, Seat of Melbourne, Labor Party

Honestly, I’m starting a petition to get pollies off social media. Creasy made rape jokes, shared porn, and joked about watching a female friend have sex. He apologised and said that “I think this is a really important lesson for young people that your social media footprint will follow you”, but maybe it’s just a lesson to not be a misogynistic idiot.

Steve Dickson, QLD Senate, One Nation Party

Steve was one of the guys caught up in the NRA meeting debacle, but apparently the scandal he figured he couldn’t bounce back from was being gross in a Washington DC strip club. I really thought the whole ‘let’s weaken Australia’s gun laws in exchange for cash’ thing would have been the kicker, but apparently not.

Wayne Kurnoth, NT Senate, Labor Party

Oh boy, this one is nuts. Kurnoth made a long social media post about how the world is being run by a society of Jewish, shapeshifting lizards. He also shared a picture of Malcolm Turnbull beheading Emma Alberici, and said some pretty awful stuff about MP Natasha Griggs, but let’s just focus on the Jewish lizard thing for a minute. Truly unhinged.

Kate Oski, Seat of Lalor, Liberal Party

Nothing as exciting as lizard people here, just people that can’t do paperwork. Doubts about potential Polish citizenship means that Section 44 claims another victim. Actually, let’s just get all the Section 44-ers out of the way.

Helen Jackson, Cooper, Liberal Party

Cooper was working at Australia Post as a public servant, Section 44 strikes yet again.

Vaishali Ghosh, Seat of Wills, Liberal Party

Ghosh’s Indian heritage brought up citizenship doubts.

Sam Kayal, Seat of Werriwa, Liberal Party

Citizenship doubts.

Courtney Nguyen, Seat of Fowler, Liberal Party

Citizenship doubts.

James Harker-Mortlock, Seat of Whitlam, National Party
Citizenship doubts.

Mary Ross, NSW Senate, Labor Party

Citizenship doubts. Surely you would look this up before applying to a political party.

Murray Angus, Seat of Corio, Liberal Party

Right, back to the trainwrecks. Angus was disendorsed after he “failed to comply with the rules and procedures” of the Liberal Party. That’s code for calling his Labor opponent a “good bloke” and backing unions. Someone should probably tell him how politics works.

Melissa Parke, Seat of Curtin, Labor Party

Parke resigned after saying that Israel’s treatment of Palestinians was “worse than the South African system of apartheid”. She’s been vocal about these views before, but Labor apparently didn’t appreciate them this close to an election.

Jay Dessi, Seat of Lalor, Greens Party

Another one down over social media posts – Dessi made a racist joke about an Asian friend, asking “which eyes are the real eyes” in one particular post. He also made a joke online about having sex with a ghost. Neither joke was remotely funny.

Tony Pecora, Seat of Melbourne, United Australia Party

Here we have our second conspiracy theorist of the list, although a lot less lizard people are involved this time. Pecora was done in for spouting 9/11 truther theories, saying that ‘globalist forces’ were behind the attack, and that “the whole story doesn’t make sense”. I wasn’t sure exactly what it would take to be dumped from the United Australia Party, but I guess we have our answer.

Gurpal Singh, Seat of Scullin, Liberal Party

This brings us to our most recently disendorsed candidate. Singh was disendorsed after making some truly horrific comments on – wait for it – social media. During the same-sex marriage plebiscite, Singh linked being gay to peadophilia, and more recently declared that in a case in which a Punjabi woman was raped by her husband, the ‘real victim’ was the man.

All up, the dropped candidates tally looks like this:

Liberal Party: 10
Labor Party: 4
Greens: 1
United Australia Party: 1
One Nation: 1
Nationals: 1

Lets see how many more we lose over the next week.